The Rescue
by LadyStina
Summary: Pre-movie/ AU. Minion seeks out Roxanne's help when Megamind goes missing.
1. The (Un)Usual Routine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.

The Rescue

Ch 1 - The (Un)Usual Routine

"This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live. Back to you, Steve," Roxanne finished while holding her smile. Once she heard Steve continue with his part of the broadcast and saw the little red light on Hal's camera go off, she let herself relax. She reached up to move her short brown hair out of her eyes and then rub along her nose. It _always_ itched when she couldn't scratch it. And only when she couldn't. It didn't matter if she was tied to a chair or on camera, her nose would itch.

They had just finished up a story about the revitalization of downtown Metro City. Like many cities in America, the population was moving back into the city from the suburbs and developers were taking advantage of the situation. As little as five years ago, the prospect of going downtown when it was getting dark was too scary to consider unless you had significant backup.

"Aaaaaanndd, that's a wrap!" Hal, her cameraman, exclaimed as he took the camera off his shoulder. Hal was an overweight red-head, and he could work magic with the camera. His personality left a few things to be desired, but he was good at his job.

As they both headed for the Channel 8 News van to put up their equipment, Hal said, "You know, Roxie, there's a couple new bars like right around the corner. Want to grab a drink, or like, whatever?"

Roxanne cringed while his back was turned. Hal was a nice guy, but he asked her out all the time. He wasn't her type and she didn't really want to get involved with anyone she worked with. Talk about looking for a messy situation…

"Ooh, sorry, Hal. I have plans tonight," she replied. It wasn't _exactly_ a lie. Her _plans_ involve going home, relaxing, and soaking in the tub before going to bed.

As if she was tempting fate, she heard a familiar rattling sound then a hissing right before the world went black.

* * *

Headache. Check.

Being carried. Arms restrained. Check.

Smelly darkness. Check.

Dammit… That's always the defining factor. That goddamn smelly bag. If she ever gets kidnapped and that putrid scent isn't there, that's when she gets worried. That won't stop her from complaining about it though. She decided to pull one of her favorite tricks and acted like she was still unconscious to see if she could get any info from her two most frequent kidnappers.

"Sir, we're back!" Minion called loudly in his friendly voice. It really is too bad he was the loyal henchman to the resident supervillain. She figured they could be really good friends otherwise. Her frequent kidnappings and her tendency to be a workaholic kept her from having very many. And he was a talking, alien fish in a mechanical gorilla suit. How cool was that?

"Ahh, Minion! In here," Megamind's voice called from a distance. "I'm almost ready. Have you seen the strobe lights?"

Strobe lights? Really? Here's hoping he doesn't find them…

"I think they were in the box labeled 'Alley G' with the fog machines and the disco ball. You didn't see them?" Minion replied helpfully.

"Ugghh!" Megamind groaned in frustration, "I've searched a dozen boxes and I still haven't come across that one. Remind me why you wanted to attempt this plan while we are in the middle of a move?"

"Yeah, 'cause I made _that_ decision by myself," Minion muttered quietly. Then he spoke louder, "Sir, you know that the controls are already set up at this location. It would be a major setback if we wait until the new Lair is equipped and ready."

They're moving to a new lair? Maybe she could use that. As it was, her nose was starting to itch and the bag's smell did _not _get better with time. Deciding that she had used up what time she could get away with, she groaned loudly then started struggling while still being draped over Minion's massive shoulder.

"Sir, she's awake," Minion informed Megamind. She didn't hear a reply, but she thought she could hear movement as the city's resident supervillain got ready for his entrance. She felt herself being lifted, but it felt like her shirt got momentarily caught on Minion. When she was placed on the chair, she instantly knew what happened. The top button on her blouse must have gotten caught under his shoulder plate and snapped off if the air she felt was any indication. And now she was showing off her bra. Awesome. And knowing Megamind, she was going to be broadcast city-wide too. This day was just getting better and better.

The bag was suddenly removed from her head and she involuntarily took a deep breath of fresh air before complaining, "Oh. My. God. Could you guys _please_ wash the bag!"

Even while griping, she was taking in her surroundings. Minion was behind her, Megamind was more than likely in the oversized chair in front of her with its back turned, and there were a few brainbots floating around aimlessly. There wasn't any evidence in here that they were moving… Same old monitors, equipment panels, tesla coils, and blinky dials. Her thoughts broke off at the start of an evil laugh as the chair turned to face her.

"We meet again, Miss Ritchi," a smooth voice spoke from the chair as it turned to reveal the blue-skinned villain in his customary leather and spikes. She leaned back into her chair some to further present her wardrobe malfunction and watched his face for a reaction. She loved throwing him off his game and a bra-shot should do just that. It wasn't even her fault this time, and with her hands tied behind her back, it was perfect.

She didn't have long to wait. As soon as his eyes focused on her, they widened to almost comical proportions. His jaw even dropped. She wondered what his reaction would be if she would have been wearing one of her date bras instead of the plain beige one she liked to wear for work. Megamind appeared to pull himself together and quickly averted his bright green eyes.

"Miss Ritchi, cover yourself!" he demanded in a flustered tone of voice.

"Can't. Tied up," she dead-panned. Then to throw him off again she continued, "Hey. Do you guys know a realtor?" He looked at her sharply, noticed her bra again and then flushed purple before looking away again. Huh. She had never seen him blush before. That was cute…

Wait a minute.

That wasn't cute, it was… interesting. Intriguing, even. She would have to try to get him to blush again. For research purposes only, of course.

"Minion!"

"Yes, boss?"

"Get Miss Ritchi a blanket or something. She's exposed," Megamind demanded to his henchman while keeping his head turned.

She heard Minion gasp behind her and then her vision was filled with worried fish. "I am _so_ sorry, Miss Ritchi! I'll be right back." Then he was gone. She heard him tromping off in search of a blanket, leaving her alone with Megamind.

She noticed that he was resolutely not looking in her direction. He also wasn't saying anything. Roxanne hated silence and after a moment decided to break it herself.

"So. No evil monologue today?" she asked. Then she smirked and continued, "You know you want to tell me your diabolical plans."

"All in due time, Miss Ritchi. No need to get ahead of ourselves," he replied to the wall. She could tell that he was trying to compose himself. She couldn't have that. And if she could get him to look at her, he might blush again.

For research.

"Oh, then can I try?" she asked a little cheekily. Before he could respond she continued in a dead-pan voice, "Mwa ha ha ha ha." She closed her eyes for concentration and continued in a deeper voice that somewhat imitated him, "Well, Miss Ritchi, I have you in my clutches once again. Go ahead and scream. No? Then this random device will do the trick! Still no? How about this one?" She opened her eyes to glance at Megamind to see if he was looking in her direction yet.

Instead of being flustered as she predicted, he looked furious. He was absolutely glaring at the wall with his brows drawn down and she could see the muscles clenching his jaw shut. His hands were balled into fists and he was strung as tight as a wire. For the first time in years, she was slightly afraid of her kidnapper. Then he did turn to look at her, and she wished he hadn't. His face was livid, and his eyes held anger and something else.

"Are you quite done, Miss Ritchi?" he asked her in the coldest tone she had ever heard him use. Even towards Metro Man. Helplessly, she nodded. "Know this, Miss Ritchi," He hissed out her name, "I _will not_ be mocked in my own lair. No one said you had to be conscious to act as boyfriend bait. Minion!" The last bit was spoken into his watch.

"Yes, Sir. I've got the blanket and am on my way," Minion's voice chirped from the watch.

"Never mind that. Miss Ritchi just lost her consciousness privileges. Bring the spray. Or the Forget-Me Stick. Whichever is closer. Oh, and we're discontinuing the frequent kidnapper's card promotion. Find it and destroy it." Megamind snarled into the watch.

"Oh, Sir…"

"Just do it, and hurry, Minion," he snapped. Then he turned and stared at his monitors, totally ignoring her.

Roxanne hadn't screwed anything up this bad since she was a rookie reporter. And since when was being conscious a privilege?! She always enjoyed their banter before Metro Man showed up, and now she just screwed that up by crossing a line. And not just crossing it, but crossing it and throwing her weight around. They were kinda-sorta friends and it wasn't like she had all that many, and she doubted he had that many either.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I was out of line."

"Apologies won't change my mind, Miss Ritchi," he spoke in that cold tone again.

"I didn't think it would, but I want you to know that I am sorry."

"Words, Miss Ritchi. Only words."

She was silent and heard Minion approaching fairly quickly. When she saw him enter the room, he ignored her and headed straight to Megamind. She saw him put a hand on his shoulder and lean towards him so they could speak quietly. After a quick consultation, she saw Minion back away and give Megamind's shoulder a comforting squeeze. Minion turned and headed in her direction. Once he got closer, she saw that his friendly face was now glaring at her. He didn't say anything, just raised a night stick decorated with a skull and crossbones. Then he swung sharply downwards.

Everything went back to black.


	2. Defining the Problem

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.

Ch 2 – Defining the Problem

Three weeks.

It had been three full weeks since the incident with Megamind and there hasn't even been a hint of a kidnapping scheme. That was odd. The longest he's ever left her alone was about 16 days. Now it was at 21 and counting. She couldn't help but wonder if her stupid little stunt totally ruined their working arrangement.

She was nervous and bored all at the same time. How was _that_ possible. She just _knew_ that any minute now she would get a face-full of Knock-Out Spray. But when that continued to not happen, she found herself stuck in the same drudgery as everyone else. Wake up, go to work, work, go back home, sleep, rinse and repeat.

When did getting kidnapped become such a needed part of her life? She was even starting to miss that goddamn smelly-ass bag.

And then the looks her two kidnappers gave her after she made her error in judgment continued to haunt her. She had finally been able to decipher that angry yet _hurt_ look in Megamind's eyes when he turned to berate her, and the look of anger and disappointment in Minion's eyes right before he hit her with the Forget-Me Stick. The knot she earned from _that_ took days to go away.

She really hoped that she didn't ruin their dysfunctional friendship and _really_ wished that she knew how to get in touch with them and invite them over for pizza and a movie or something that normal friends did. The only thing she could do was wait and see. And hope that they didn't find another kidnappee in the meantime.

God, what was _wrong_ with her? Normal adrenaline junkies take up sky-diving or bungee-jumping. But that's not good enough for Roxanne Ritchi! _She_ likes to sit around and wait to be kidnapped. Then be dangled over or under or next to incredibly dangerous, and possibly untested, devices. And that's right before getting stuck in the middle of a fire-fight with a flight home afterwards. Bungee-jumping, pffft. That was a Tuesday.

Well, usually, anyway. Where the hell was he? He was only in prison for a couple days. And, yes. She had checked.

Roxanne tried to shake those thoughts from her head and get back to her fact-checking. She was getting more and more distracted as time went on and her work was suffering for it.

But, where was he?...

Three weeks.

* * *

A couple days later, Roxanne was woken up by a sharp electronic sound. Out of habit, she hit the alarm clock beside her bed and squinted at the numbers. Instead of reading 6:03 like they normally did, they said 2:47. Stupid alarm.

Just as she was pulling it towards her to make sure it was set correctly, the noise happened again. It had a distinct 'ding-dong' quality that her alarm had never pulled off before. This was followed by hesitant knocking. Realizing that it was the doorbell, she groaned but got out of bed. It was always possible that it was emergency personnel attempting to evacuate the building. She grabbed her robe and slid her feet into her slippers in case it was an evacuation. Anything else would get a piece of her sleep-fogged mind.

As she shuffled through the apartment towards the front door, the bell rang again followed by more knocking.

"I'm comin, I'm comin," she grumbled as she made it to the door and looked out the peephole. Instead of firefighter yellow or policeman blue, she saw water. Then a huge brown eye took up the opening.

She sighed and unlocked the door, but left the chain on as she opened it, "Minion, I've been wanting to talk to you guys, but I'm not going to be kidnapped at 2:45 in the morning. Come get me at 10, I'll be dressed up and on camera and everything."

She started to close the door, but Minion pressed against it and held it open. Thankfully, he didn't put his full force behind it or that chain would snap in two. Who designed these things anyway?

"No, no, Miss Ritchi. I'm not here to kidnap you. I promise. Can…can I come in? I need to talk to you. It's important. Please?" Minion pleaded. She could hear him as he swam nervously back and forth in his head-habitat.

She sighed again and shut the door to undo the chain, then opened it again. As soon as the door opened, Minion scurried in. Once she saw him, she realized that he wasn't nervous, he was _frantic_. She shut the door then hurried to him. Not knowing what else to do, she grasped his metallic hands.

"Minion! What's wrong? What happened?"

Minion fluttered his fins and replied, "Oh, Miss Ritchi. I just didn't know where else to go! You and Sir have always been sociable, except last time, but I know that was just a fluke." Minion began swimming in circles, "And I'm so _worried_! I… I can't… I mean… I've been trying! But the longer the trail is cold, the harder it gets. And after the first 48, NO! No, I can't believe that! I won't! Just need something, someONE else."

After that, he got more and more incoherent. And she didn't understand what he was trying to tell her in the first place.

"Minion," she tried to interrupt his ramblings. He didn't hear her, so she tried again, "Minion!" Still nothing. She suddenly remembered all those signs she'd ever seen in the fish sections of pets stores asking people not to tap the glass. Hoping that it would be as effective as a slap on a hysterical human, she raised her finger and tapped once on his dome to effectively slap the hysterical fish.

"Agghh!" Minion yelped.

"I'm sorry!' Roxanne quickly apologized. "You were getting hysterical and I didn't know what else to do. Now please. Slow down, deep breath, and tell me what happened."

Minion took a moment to calm down enough to tell her what was going on. Then he said, "Miss Ritchi, I am seeking your aid on behalf of, well… myself, really. Sir has been missing for weeks and I need your help."

"What?" Roxanne gasped. "Megamind is missing? But, _how?_ Why?"

"I don't know why," Minion replied while twisting his hands together, "And I can guess on the how. It must have happened right after he escaped from prison. He's vulnerable then. No weapons or backup… The escape wasn't the planned one, but sometimes you just take opportunities as they arise. And we have a contingency for that. There are a couple hidden areas near the prison that have communicators so we can arrange a meet up. I never got that call. I didn't even find out about the prison-break until the next day when I caught it on the news. Sir never showed up at the lair…"

Minion was quiet for a moment, then continued, "I tried using the tracking device on him, but it has either been blocked or destroyed. I _told_ him he should let me implant it!..." he trailed off.

"Miss Ritchi, I'm at the end of my rope. Sir should have been able to get a message to me somehow. He can send embedded messages though the TV to me using a piece of paper for evil's sake! I have the brainbots on full alert; I have contacted our contacts, and have shook-down everyone else I can think of and some I didn't. I have threatened, cajoled, bribed, and broken a couple arms. Please, Miss Ritchi. Help me find Sir. You're a good investigator and I trust you. I… I can pay you for your trouble, or… or try to convince Sir to let you out of a kidnapping or two. Just _please_ help me find Sir!"

Roxanne decided to overlook the fact that the nicest person, well… fish, she knew just admitted to shaking down most of the underworld and breaking a couple limbs and answered, "Of course I'll help, Minion. I'm worried too, you know."

"Oh _thank you_, Miss Ritchi! You have _no idea_ how much this means to me! I can provide you with whatever you need! Brainbots, a full-service lab, a research computer, small or large arms, dehydration gun, ballistic protection, body guards, an obscure but specific researcher in China, forged papers, an escape from prison, the invisible car, or anything else. You just name it, and I'll get it for you!"

Roxanne blinked as Minion offered her everything evil had to offer. Then she gave him a small smile.

"Let me get some juice, then we can start brainstorming, ok, Minion?"

"Sure thing, Miss Ritchi," he replied. He sounded more confident than he did when he walked into her apartment. She hoped that she wouldn't let either of them down.

Once she poured herself a glass of apple juice, she sat at the kitchen bar and looked at Minion. He looked twitchy and agitated. Just about the same way she had been for the last week or so waiting to be kidnapped.

"Minion, can I get you anything?" she offered.

"Huh? Oh no. No. I'm fine."

"Well, if you're sure, then let's get started. So, Megamind broke out of prison but then never made it to a contact point. How far away are the contact points from the prison?" she said, slipping into reporter-mode.

"About 100 yards, give or take."

"Isn't that awfully close?"

"If he were to stay there it is. But he can usually do a diving roll, grab it, come up and keep running while he's contacting me."

"Hmm, ok. So that means that the prison probably caught it on their cameras. Have you checked them?"

"I tried, but their closed-circuit security system is very antiquated. They haven't even upgraded to DVR's if you can believe that! They still use VHS-tapes as their storage methods. You would think that a facility that commonly houses a _supervillain_ would have a decent security system! Talk about lack of funding! You should get that story out there Miss Ritchi and tell people to write to the governor. How do they expect me to hack a VHS tape after it's been switched out? I could have seen the footage from a DVR _weeks_ ago!"

"Ok, that's the first step then. We go to Metro City's Prison for the Criminally Gifted and ask the warden to see the security footage of the last time Megamind escaped."

"Oh, I don't know, Miss Ritchi. There's some bad blood there and he might not let us see just to spite Sir."

"Well, can we hide you and then I try to get him to let 'me' see using my reporter finesse and my womanly wiles?" Roxanne suggested. "We _have_ to see that tape, Minion, if we're going to find out what happened."

"Well alright. But if that don't work we might have to resort to B and E," he replied thoughtfully, "I need to find my floor plan…"

"Sorry. B and E?"

"Breaking and entering," Minion supplied helpfully.

"_Into_ a prison?"

"It's a legitimate Plan B. And I don't think it's illegal to break _into_ one. Just _out_ of it," he defended.

Roxanne could only stare at him for a minute and then started to laugh.


	3. The Investigation Begins

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.

Ch 3 – The Investigation Begins

BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep…

The sudden noise is stopped when a hand slaps the top to the alarm clock. Roxanne peers at the blurry numbers and they read 6:03. She groans and sits up. She only went back to bed a couple hours ago. But she had a supervillain to save and a henchfish to keep from going to pieces. And she couldn't do _either_ of those things if she had to also go to work. Time to put those acting skills to the test.

She listened intently and heard Minion walking around the kitchen. In her small apartment, that was about as far away from the bedroom as you could get. She slid the screen of her phone and found her boss's cell number.

After a few rings a groggy voice answered, "E'lo?"

"Eddie, it's Roxanne. Listen. I had a family emergency pop up last night and I have to leave right away. I'll need to use all my family leave for the year, and probably some vacation time too. I know I have lots stacked up, and…"

Her rambling was cut off by her boss, "Ahh, you can't do this to me, Roxie! I need you!"

Her voice went cold then, "Yeah, and I needed that drunk driver to _not_ hit my sister while she was driving home last night. I also needed the doctors to _not_ tell me she might not live out the week. Fuck you, Eddie. I'm taking my time off," she hung up without letting him reply. Times like this was when she missed the old corded phones. You could really hang up on someone back then. She glared at the phone and mentally cursed her boss. Even though it was a made-up story, he got under her skin sometimes.

She sighed to let go of anger she didn't have any reason to hold on to and stood up. As she did, she saw Minion standing in the doorway gaping at her.

He kinda shook his body in his dome then exclaimed, "Oh, Miss Ritchi! I'm _so_ sorry! Here I am dumping all _my_ problems on you when you have a tragedy to take of yourself. If I can do _anything_, anything at all, you let me know! Oh your poor sister! How are you holding up? Do you need to lie down? Should I call someone?"

_This_ was why she didn't want him to hear that call. She placed her head in her hand and shook her head.

"Oh, now you're crying! Let it all out. It's good to grieve," he continued in that panicked way of his.

Roxanne held up one hand, hoping that he would get the message and stop talking so she could get a word in. She really didn't want to tap his tank again. He finally figured out that his babbling wasn't welcome and quieted down. She looked up at him and saw his wide, panicky eyes and couldn't help but give him a tiny smile.

"Minion, I don't have a sister," she started, but was interrupted by his gasp.

"Oh, no! You're too late? Those damn doctors! What do they know! I'm SO sorry Miss Ritchi!"

Roxanne held up a hand again, secretly amused she got the fish to curse. And here she though shrimp-bits and crab-nuggets was as profane as he got. But then she didn't expect him to admit to shaking down lots of people earlier this morning, either.

"Minion, I've never had a sister. App," she said snapping her lips closed along with her hand pantomiming a mouth shutting as she saw Minion about to go again. He was probably going to tell her not to disown family or something. He obediently closed his mouth.

"I was lying to my boss to get time off to find Megamind. Ok? We cool? No flying to pieces about my momentarily-imaginary sister?" Roxanne nodded her head to get Minion to copy it and then brought her shut-your-yap hand down.

"But why, Miss Ritchi? Won't you need that family time for your family? And it seemed like you got really angry at your boss..." Minion asked curiously.

"Well, Eddie's an ass, so I felt justified telling him off. I told him I had a family emergency and he was trying to talk me into working. And the way I see it, I _do_ have a family emergency. I see you guys more often, and we get along better than my family does, even throwing in my snafu during the last kidnapping. Now scram, so I can change and we can see about finding your boss."

"Yes, Miss Ritchi. Ma'am," Minion said while a slow look of wonder was crossing his face. She didn't get to examine it that much before he left her bedroom.

As she was changing, she realized that Minion had added a ma'am to her name. She hoped that she didn't just screw something _else_ up. _Aliens_! Geeze! Or maybe it was just these two guys? This would be the point where a decent dating history would come in handy. Maybe…

She finished changing and grabbed a huge book-bag on the way out. First stop: Evil Lair, then on to the prison.

* * *

"We're here! You didn't peek, did you, Ma'am?" Minion asked as the car was switched off.

"No, I didn't peek, Minion. And what if I had? I thought you guys were moving?"

"Wait. What? How did you know that?"

"Ah, crap. _That's_ why I don't like having my sleep interrupted." She sighed then and confessed, "Well, I may have recovered a little sooner from the knock-out spray than I let on. Sorry. Nosy reporter and all that jazz." Instead of Minion looking disgruntled, he looked delighted.

"Oh, I knew I made the right choice in asking you to help, Ma'am! I just wish I had thought of it sooner," he started getting down again, "I just knew that he was going to find a way to contact me so I kept waiting. Then I _knew_ that one of our underground associates would have the information I needed. I hope I didn't mess up too many of Sir's deals. Oh, I can't do anything right! I'm a terrible evil minion! From both a good _and_ bad perspective!"

Oh dear, another Minion breakdown… When was the last time he slept? And she always thought Minion held together Megamind. Looks like there are some mutual puzzle pieces there. Not knowing what else to do, she embraced the gorilla suit as best she could and rested her head against the glass of his dome and made comforting shushing sounds.

Once he calmed down slightly she told him, "Minion, you are the best evil minion a future evil overlord could have. You've been following protocol and then tried to sniff him out yourself. You even bust some heads, am I right? And _so what_ if a deal or two gets messed up? Megamind is a _supervillain_! Those punks will take whatever deal he gives them to keep from ending up as a permanent blue cube! Am I right?" Minion looked at her then slowly nodded his body. "Don't fall apart on me, ok? I need your help to find Sir. Alright?"

Minion took a shuddering breath and replied, "Yes. Yes, you're right Ma'am. Ok, this is me… pulling it together." He was quiet for a minute then continued, "Thanks, Ma'am. I think that helped. Right! So, supplies!"

She let him go, so he could gather the needed (and backup) materials. She decided to look around while Minion was busy. There were a lot of nifty things in here, not that she would ever let Megamind know that. No telling _what_ that would do to his ego. Huh, there is a lot of stuff here for moving out… Unless… Did Minion bring her to the _new _lair? Well, that's unexpected. Kinda makes sense though since that's where all the important stuff would be. Looks like there is no getting out of wearing the blindfold. At least it wasn't the bag… Hmm, where is the bag? Maybe it can have a little 'accident'…

She started poking around with the sole purpose to search out and destroy that smelly-ass bag. It really shouldn't be _this_ hard to find. Unfortunately, the smell of engine oil and exhaust overwhelmed the area and the stinky bag wasn't giving much of an odor footprint at the moment. She was only granted a few more minutes of freedom until Minion called for her.

"Ma'am, everything's ready."

"Ok, let's go talk to the warden," she replied as she headed for the invisible car. Once she was in, she put on her blindfold like a good little kidnappee.

When the car started moving, Roxanne held on to the oh-shit bar for dear life. She had learned her lesson on the trip from her apartment to the lair. Minion did _not_ believe in speed limits. His one speed was pedal-to-the-metal. Once the drive smoothed out and she wasn't afraid of distracting Minion at a crucial moment, she started going over their plan again. With a reminder that she _might_ lie and if she does he is not to freak out.

It wasn't too much longer before they were at the prison. Roxanne was surprised that it took anytime at all with Minion's nearly-literal lead foot. Once they were parked, Minion pulled Roxanne's bag from the backseat and handed it to her.

"Ok, Ma'am. In here you have a camera, notepad, your driver's license (they won't let you in without it), and a wallet. Go ahead and take those out, we'll put them back on top in a minute." Minion waited while she did so. "Ok, in the bottom is the de-gun, the lock-popper, a USB drive and blank VHS tapes. That's where I'll go too as soon as I transfer to my travel dome." He picked up an item and handed it to her. "Once all the contraband is in your bag, attach this device. I've already activated it. It tricks the eyes into only seeing a small portion of the bag. Just try not to act like it weighs a ton. Once the device is on, you can put all the legal stuff back on top. When the guard does a bag check, that's all he'll see. Got it, Ma'am?"

"I think so," she replied.

Minion picked up his travel dome and made the transfer from his suit to the little ball. "I'm ready, Ma'am." He gave her a little smile, "Be gentle," he teased. She smirked back and gently lifted his ball and put it into her bag.

"It's not going to be too dark in there for you, is it?" she asked as she attached the strange device he gave her.

"Oh no, Ma'am. I'm fine," came Minion's disembodied voice from her now suddenly much smaller and empty bag.

"Ok, that's weird," Roxanne commented as she put the legal items inside.

Minion chuckled slightly, "I think your weirdness sensor needs adjusting."

"You know, you just might be right, Minion," she agreed as she stepped out of the invisible car. "Let's do this thing," she declared as she headed towards the entrance.

* * *

The warden must not have had a lot of visitors lined up for today, because she was let right in. Even though she had to wear her 'purse' across her chest like a dork. She could feel the little sphere of water trying to throw her off balance. Well better a dork than a spy, right? She entered his office and shook his hand.

"Warden Marshall, nice to make your acquaintance," she started politely as she let go of his hand and sat down. She placed her heavy bag behind her so he wouldn't notice it 'floating' in midair slightly.

"Same here, Miss Ritchi. What can I do for you?"

"Well, Warden. I'm actually researching a story that could be beneficial to this institution."

He gave her a suspicious look and asked, "How so?"

"If I can prove to the right people that you have gaps in your security, they would be in the position to increase your funding. Especially since you routinely house Megamind here," she started brightly.

To her utter surprise, his face shut down at the mention of Megamind. It was like watching a door slam shut. Looks like she chose the wrong tactic. Again…

"Miss Ritchi," the Warden started crisply, "We have no issues with our security system and have the highest security rating of any prison in the state of Michigan." Roxanne heard a snort from her bag, and it took all her willpower not to elbow it.

"Warden, didn't Megamind escape yet again a few weeks ago? Why do you think your security doesn't need upgrading?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Ritchi, this interview is over. And I will tell you the same thing I have told every other reporter, lab-rat, and curiosity seeker that has come sniffing around over the years. I'm not your way to Megamind. You will get no information from me, the guards OR the inmates. I think you had better go," the warden continued in a hard tone.

"Really? Huh… Try telling him," she heard Minion whisper behind her. She involuntarily looked back at the bag, then looked back to the warden.

"Ok, look, Warden Marshal. The real reason I'm here is that Megamind went missing immediately after he broke out. We think there might be something on your security footage. Can I take a look?" Roxanne asked.

One of the warden's eyebrows rose, and he glanced behind her, "We?" His face seemed to soften somewhat.

Roxanne felt her eyes widen slightly and tried to cover herself, "Yes, we. My… my intern! And I. We…" Before she could get any further with her impressive stuttering skills, the warden interrupted her and talked to the bag.

"Hey, Minion. You couldn't keep Ol' Blue out of trouble this time, huh?"

Minion gave a nervous chuckle then replied, "Hi Warden. Yeah, he jumped the gun on the escape plan and I wasn't there for him. Sounds like someone grabbed him before he could contact me. Looks like the jig is up, Ma'am. You can take me out."

Roxanne disconnected the device that hid the bag's true size, then carefully lifted Minion out and held his sphere on her lap.

The warden nodded and said, "Yes, this makes more sense than that security story you were going after."

Minion broke in then, "So can we see the security footage? I'm afraid I can't take 'no' for an answer. You understand, right Warden? And just for reference, this is 'the easy way.'"

"You know how I feel about threats, Minion," the Warden replied in a gruff tone. Then he sighed, "But I _do_ understand the two of you. Come on." The warden got up and started walking out the door. Roxanne grabbed Minion and followed him to the security center. "He's been missing since he broke out of here? That was almost a month ago, Minion. Why didn't you call sooner?"

"I…I didn't really think you'd help us, Warden. There's a lot of bad blood here since Sir established himself as a supervilllain," Minion replied.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't help. For Pete's sake, _call_ me next time," he grumbled as he opened the door to their destination. Inside was a wall of screens and thousands of VHS cases and a guy sitting in a chair watching the monitors with a bored expression. The warden walked past him without a word and came to a section that looked like all the rest and pulled about seven tapes. "These are the ones showing the perimeter around the time he escaped. You can review them in that room." He pointed to another doorway in the back. Then he turned to the guy in the chair, held a quiet conversation, then left.

It took minute, but Roxanne had finally juggled both Minion and the video tapes into the featureless back room and out of the watcher's questioning stare. There were a couple old TVs and each hooked up to an even older VCR. She closed the door so they could have some privacy.

Minion looked around and shook himself. "I just never know about the warden. He is _so_ hard to read," he complained. "Some days, it seems like he'd just about spit if you even mention Sir around him. Then other times it's like today."

"It kinda sounds like he cares, Minion. Maybe you should talk to him one day," Roxanne shrugged. "Well, let's get to watching. You take that screen and I'll watch this one. Might as well settle in, this could be a long one…"

* * *

Three hours, and several lame games of eye-spy later, and they finally caught movement on Roxanne's screen. She got Minion's attention and they watched the silent black and white footage of Megamind escaping from the prison. She wrote down the time-stamp so she could check the other videos for activity at around the same time. As they watched, they saw Megamind start to bend down while running. Before he could pick up what he was aiming for, he suddenly stood up very straight and stopped running. Megamind lifted a hand and seemed to pull on something on the side of his head. He brought the arm back down and opened his fist palm up in front of him as he looked at something. Then he dropped to his knees and proceeded to pitch forward face-first onto the ground.

Roxanne and Minion looked on with open-mouthed shock. Minion was shaking just a bit and whispering, "No," over and over again. Roxanne placed a hand on top of his sphere. She wished she could give him a hug, but this was the best she could do. They still had a video to watch, after all.

After several agonizing minutes of stillness, they saw the flash of headlights coming into the same frame as Megamind. An SUV pulled up next to Megamind's still form and stopped. Roxanne tried to get the license plate number, but the video quality wasn't good enough for her to make it out. Four figures stepped out of the SUV and surrounded the prone form on the ground. Three were wearing black and was carrying a thuggish vibe. The last one was wearing a lab coat and that made Minion even more distraught.

What really surprised Roxanne was that instead of Minion breaking down further, he straightened up and began commanding, "Ma'am, take that video and shove it in your purse. Grab the others too. I can enhance the image at Evil Lair and then, to borrow one of Sir's lines: They will rue the day. First though, let's get my body. I need to see the area where they grabbed Sir."

"Ok, Minion," she agreed and followed his lead.

Fifteen minutes later and they were outside the prison near the spot where Megamind fell. Minion was on his mechanical hands and knees scouring the ground. Roxanne felt pretty useless as she was told to "Stay back," and "Hold this." 'This' being ziplock baggies. Well they all had their own strengths… Right?

"Ma'am? Bag please," Minion requested. She carefully approached, making sure she only stepped in areas he had already searched and handed him a bag. He placed something in the bag then sealed it up. After that, he stood up and showed her what he found. She studied it intently.

"A tranquilizer dart? That means he's ok, right?"

"Well, not necessarily. That means he was _possibly_ ok back when he was abducted. Assuming whatever they used doesn't react badly to Sir's physiology. The oddest things can trigger a reaction," Minion trailed off sadly. "And we have no idea of his current condition. The fact that I haven't received any kind of communication is disheartening at the very least."

"Let's go, Minion," Roxanne suggested softly, "We need to grab lunch, then head back to Evil Lair to analyze that dart and enhance the videos. Megamind wouldn't give up on _you_, so let's not give up on him either, ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he responded quietly and turned to head for the invisible car. She sighed and followed him. She sincerely hoped that they would be able to get some information now that they had some leads. She didn't know if she could handle too much more of Depressed Minion. If he kept it up, they would both end up as a puddle of tears on the floor and that would be just _that_ much longer that Megamind was in someone else's hands. She put on a brave face and followed him to the car.


	4. The Search

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.

Ch 4 – The Search

"Oh, THANK EVIL HEAVEN!" Minion's voice suddenly rang out through Evil Lair causing several brainbots to scatter.

Roxanne, who had been sitting in silence trying to enhance the videos using equipment that was _way_ more advanced than what they had at KMPC, was also startled by the sudden exclamation. She stood up to go see what he was excited about, but then heard him running towards her location, so she stayed put.

Minion skidded into view, hopping slightly to keep his own momentum from making him fall. He was wearing a lab-coat and a shower-cap on top of his dome, and smiling as broadly as she was used to.

"Miss Ri…err, Ma'am! Fantastic news! The dart was, in fact, filled with a tranquilizer. _And_ one that Sir doesn't have any adverse reactions to! Heck, it's an ingredient in your Knock-Out Spray!"

Roxanne dropped back in her chair with relief and an unnoticed hand over her heart, "Oh, thank God!" The thought had been in both their minds, but only Minion got close to hinting at the fact that they could very easily have been watching Megamind's death on that video tape.

"Medical-grade stuff," Minion continued. "It would almost had to have been stolen. How about you, Ma'am? Any luck?"

"Not really. Your toys are too advanced for me. If you could get me that license plate or clear shots of their faces, then I have a few tricks I can pull out."

"You got it, boss-lady!" Minion said happily as he seated himself in front of the monitors.

Ok, what was going on? She had forever and always been Miss Ritchi to Minion, even after informing him repeated that he could call her Roxanne. Until this morning, when she somehow became 'Ma'am.' And now he called her boss-lady? Normally she would try to think it out, but her people skills have been really off recently. Best thing to do is ask before she loses her nerve.

"Hey Minion?" she started. He tilted his body like someone would cock their head but still working on the video enhancement. "Can I ask you something without offending you?"

"Sure thing, Ma'am?" he chirped at her. "What is it?"

"That. Why have you been calling me 'Ma'am' all day?"

To her surprise, he laughed happily. Then answered, "Well, you called us family this morning and I was just returning the favor. Ma'am." He turned in his bowl to look at her and smiled broadly. "Sir and I have only ever had each other, and frankly I'm flattered that you've thrown your lot in with us, however momentarily. I'm mostly just entertaining myself, but…I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable, Ma…Miss Ritchi," his smile faltered a bit.

She smiled at him, "That's ok, Minion. You can call me whatever you like." He grinned in reply and turned back to the video.

She could do a lot worse than these two as family. In fact, she _had_. She tended to avoid family functions because of all the drama. Maybe she could spend Thanksgiving here instead of the yearly family torture or a lonely microwave dinner at home. Definitely food for thought.

"Ma'am, I think this is the best I can do. The video quality is poor to begin with, and then blowing it up just makes it appear fuzzier." Minion said in an aggravated tone. "I am going to anonymously send that prison a better video surveillance set-up," he muttered. "And then send them the contractors to install it," he continued to grumble as he pressed a single button on the keyboard and she heard a printer activate. She stood and took the paper that was printed out. It was a fuzzy picture of the license plate.

Roxanne looked at it dubiously. She could only make a guess at what a couple of the characters could possibly be.

"You think one of the other camera angles would have seen it better?" she asked hopefully.

"We can give it a try, but I think they're all overhead shots like this one," he shrugged. He did turn and place the other video tapes into his system to check the angles.

"You keep looking, Minion and see if you can get their faces. I'll see if I can get anything off this partial plate."

"Ok, Ma'am. Good luck," he replied a little sadly.

"You too," she replied. She gave him a pat on his mechanical shoulder and headed to a computer.

Roxanne had a knack at getting into places she wasn't supposed to be in, which was an asset for a reporter. Not many people knew that also included cyber-snooping. Oh, she couldn't break into the pentagon or anything like that, but she could usually find her way into local places. Especially ones she wanted to get into. Like the Metro City PD or even the DMV. She ran a search in the DMV first because that was easier to hide her tracks.

After an hour of trying possible combinations with a wild symbol for the unreadable figures, she had a list of names as long as she was tall. She sat back and rubbed her eyes then looked at the nearby clock. It was later than she thought, no wonder her eyes felt a little strained.

She glanced back at Minion and saw he was going frame by frame trying to get a good view of the abductors' faces. She was going to ask him to drive her home, but thought better of it. At least she could attempt to make him get some sleep if she stayed here.

"Minion, I'm bushed. You have a place I can crash?"

"Oh, I can take you home, Ma'am," he offered.

"I'd rather you didn't. That way if my boss sends someone looking for me, I'm not there and my story sounds legit," she fibbed.

"Oh, well, that makes sense, I guess. Uh, we have a couch? I'm not really comfortable offering you Sir's bed without him being here and it's not like we usually have overnight guests…" he rambled.

"The couch is fine, Minion. And you should get some shut-eye also."

"Oh, no. There's too much that needs-"

"Minion!" she interrupted. "You said you would get me anything I needed, and what I need is a well-rested evil henchfish. Think you can do that for me? When _was_ the last time you slept, anyway?"

"I…I don't really know…" Minion replied in a thoughtful voice.

"Well, that settles it. Couch for me and sleep for you"

"Yes, Ma'am," he sighed and led her to the couch.

* * *

Roxanne woke the next morning with a crick in her neck and a slight chill from the leather she was laying on. Why was she laying on leather?... She then recalled the events of the previous day and sat up. Minion wasn't in the spot where he 'powered down,' last night. She had only _just_ kept herself from laughing when a castle rose up from below and he squeezed himself inside.

She got up, stretched and made her way to the research area. Sure enough, there was Minion looking at the monitors again.

"Good morning, Ma'am," Minion greeted cheerfully. "There's coffee and donuts if you'd like any," he gestured to a covered pink box and a coffee cup in a carrying tray. She gratefully grabbed the coffee and sat next to Minion.

"Find anything?" she asked.

"Well, not yet. I did have an idea I'm trying though. You were right, that sleep cleared my head. I'm going through the traffic and red-light cameras that are on roads leading from the prison and checking to see if I can find that vehicle leaving the area. Traffic cameras are _designed_ to see the license plate clearly and the driver."

"Great idea, Minion!" she congratulated. "Hey, you think if you find them on one, you can follow them on additional cameras? Then we can have an idea where they took him."

"I should be able to," he replied. She nodded and went to the computer she was using last night. She figured she might as well run the names she collected and see if any worked in the medical field or a lab of some sort. That, and it would feel like she's doing something useful.

It was an hour later when the silence was broken by Minion's excited voice, "Bingo!" Roxanne looked over and saw the same model SUV that they saw on the prison's video and a woman inside wearing a white lab-coat next to a guy wearing all dark clothes. Before she could register too much, Minion thrust a piece of paper at her, "Here. Can you run the plate and their faces, Ma'am? I'm going to follow them."

She took the paper and nodded. Minion didn't bother waiting for an answer. As he frantically turned back to the computer center, his fingers flew over the keyboard. Next to the screen of the SUV he just captured, a huge screen above him replaced its current image with a map of the city. She noticed a screen in front of him light up with a pale green glow, then bright green figures quickly filled the screen. It looked like formulas or maybe computer code.

She had thought he was going to check the other traffic cameras, but he must have had something else in mind. She sat down to run the plate through the DMV. She got the results quickly, but the database said that the plates belonged on a little economy car.

Roxanne turned to tell Minion, but saw he was staring intently at the map he had pulled up. She glanced up and saw a blue dot appear with a time next to it. Then another one popped up. And another.

"Minion," she interrupted, "The plates don't belong that that car. They belong to a Honda Civic."

"Hmm, the bait and switch. You have the name and address?" he asked distractedly while still staring at the map. She nodded and read it off to him. He was still a moment, then nodded firmly.

"Brainbots! Squad 14," he called into his watch. Roxanne nervously ducked as a swarm of the floating mechanoids flew by and hovered near Minion. "Leader 1400," he continued in a commanding voice Roxanne wasn't used to hearing from the fish, "send 1415 to 310 Cherry Lane and send image back of Honda Civic to folder 'Emergency Find Daddy'. If the car is not there, locate Harry Cooper's place of work and find that Civic. Stealth mode. Take Squad 14 and search area between 5th and Madison and 10th and Pinehurst. Code: Find Daddy. Stealth mode."

Roxanne gasped as the entire group turned invisible. Minion turned and grinned at her. "If he hasn't been moved, we should find out where Sir is located before the end of the day!"

"That's great, Minion!" she smiled at him and got back to work trying to match names to the two people she now had a clear picture of.

It was sometime later and Roxanne was waiting for the facial recognition software to match the photo with one from the DMV when Minion's voice came over a set of speakers, "Sir! The requested brainbot data has been received!" She blinked and looked over at Minion who was still sitting at the huge computer station.

He noticed her look and replied, "Oh, it's just a recording," as he opened up the message from the brainbot. "Ahh, 1415 found the Civic. Here's the plate number." He printed it out. Roxanne grabbed it and ran the number. She got results instantly to an SUV. She googled the name that had come up, then blinked in confusion. Were people really this stupid? Or did she hang out with a supervillain of incredible intellect too often?

"Hey Minion?" she called out sweetly.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Have you got something I can change into? I'm afraid my pencil-skirt is not suitable supervillain rescue attire."

"You found something, Ma'am?

"More than just something. I found _him_. Look," she turned the screen to face him. What he saw was a webpage extoling the benefits of genetic diversity for the upcoming apocalypse. Along with that was a photo of Megamind's relaxed, sleeping face next to a second photo of a mid-thirtyish blonde-haired woman in a lab-coat. She matched the photo of the driver of the get-away car. Listed underneath the picture was her name and place of business.

"You ready to go smack-a-bitch?" Roxanne asked with a smile that would have done Megamind proud.


	5. Wait, What?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.

Ch 5 – Wait. What?

It was after-hours and Cynthia was finally free to check in on her secret project. She hurried down the stairs to the basement in her excitement. Cynthia stopped walking when she spotted Gary exiting the high-security room she was heading towards. She looked down with approval of the glass vials he was carrying.

"How's he doing?" she asked the only other person in the building.

"Still out like a light. We just finished this evening's session. I need to go make the replacements in the storage unit, but he's decent enough for you to go on in," Gary replied.

"Wonderful. How's the replacement project going?"

"I believe that we've managed to replace about a third of the current samples with his. Oh, and Jenny told me that today makes three confirmed positives. We're still waiting on the results of the other five."

"So they _are_ viable! That's what the lab results suggested, but you never know until you begin experimentation."

"It certainly looks that way. Excuse me, I need to put these up before they start to degrade," and Gary turned to walk away.

Cynthia gave a satisfied little smile. It was all working out. Before too long, they will have replaced every sample in storage with his. The future of mankind would be assured. They would need to relocate in a few months before anyone discovers what they had done, but she was tired of Metro City anyway. The people here had no imagination. California would be a good place to next set up shop.

She let her mind wander with future plans as she slid her access card into the card reader. The doctors upstairs had no idea that she had converted this store room to her own little lab with a prime specimen held within. They also wouldn't see the merit of what she was up to. Idiots. Each and every one of them. The only ones with any sense were Jenny and Dwayne, and they were only nurses. But even _they_ couldn't see the beauty of the plan. Always going on about the 'majesty of aliens' or some such nonsense.

Cynthia wrote in her lab book and checked the IVs that were attached to the big-headed blue alien stud. She caressed his cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Three so far. Isn't that exciting? And a possible five more!" she spoke to the comatose figure below her. She lowered her voice and spoke in his ear, "So, how does it feel to be the father of a new generation?"

She threw back her head and laughed in delight. It was working! It had been almost a month and everyone assumed Megamind had skipped town after his last prison-break. Metro Man sure wasn't going to come looking for him, and neither was that talentless news reporter. And without him, those robots of his were just sitting idle wherever they were hidden. Cynthia couldn't help it, and laughed again.

This one was stopped short as the door crashed open. She saw two back-lit figures in the doorway along with lots of floating blue and red lights just as the smaller one spoke, "Ooh, that evil laugh needs work. I'm kind of an expert you see. You need to use your diaphragm."

* * *

Roxanne confidently strode through the doorway with her borrowed dehydration gun held in one hand pointing straight at the blonde and her borrowed cape swishing behind her as she walked. Brainbots (from Squad 14) brushed her lightly as they passed. Her eyes swept the room and she determined that Miss Lab-coat was the only other conscious person there.

"Sir!" Minion exclaimed and rushed past Roxanne to tend to his friend and not-so-coincidently flanking the target.

"Ok, what's the game?" Roxanne asked the cringing woman.

"Wha…what do you mean?" the woman stuttered.

"Don't play dumb with me, bitch, when you have my friend on a table _in the same FUCKING room we're standing in_! Now tell me before I lose my patience," she primed the de-gun to make its little warming-up noise, "What are you doing with Megamind?"

"I…I'm not telling you anything," the woman stood up defiantly.

Roxanne just smirked evilly, "I was hoping you'd say that. Minion?"

"Yes, Ma'am!" he turned suddenly and wacked the blonde with the Forget-Me Stick and watched as she dropped to the ground.

Roxanne pulled the trigger and watched fascinated as the unconscious woman was turned into a tiny blue cube. She put the gun back in its borrowed thigh holster and took out a ziplock baggie. She placed the blue cube inside and sealed it. Then she hurried over to Minion and Megamind.

Minion spoke into his watch, "Brainbots! Secure the perimeter and bring anyone found inside the building to me and Miss Ritchi." The he started looking at the IV bags and then carefully removing them from the needles stuck in Megamind's arm.

"Is he ok?" she asked a little nervously.

"He seems healthy enough, no evidence of starvation or dehydration and no visible injuries. They've been giving him the tranquilizer intravenously, so he's probably been unconscious since he was brought here. I think I'll give him a saline solution to help flush it out."

"I'll start snooping then. Why do you think they have him in a fertility center anyway?"

"Well, I hope it was only for research purposes, Ma'am. They can do genetic testing here, and well, we _are_ different."

She smiled as she opened up a notebook she found nearby, "Yeah, I guess," she replied then laughed, "You know… I tend to forget unless I think about it. You guys are just that. You guys."

She let out a surprised "Eep!" as she suddenly found herself in a furry metallic hug and being lifted off the ground.

"Oh, Ma'am! That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to us! Sir will be absolutely delighted!" He set her down and was still smiling broadly. "Are you sure you don't want to accept Sir's offer to be his Evil Queen? You do look fantastic in his cape."

She laughed and replied, "Minion, you can't propose for Megamind! Now let me snoop. My reporter senses are tingling." He grinned sheepishly then turned and whispered something to Megamind that was too low for her to hear. She shook her head and looked back in the notebook.

Her smile slowly faded as she read and she started flipping pages faster until she found the last entry. "_Three confirmed pregnancies using sample from subject B. Five more pending test results. Replacement Project 1/3 completed."_

"Minion," she said weakly, "We have a problem…"

"Huh? What's that?" he asked distractedly as he finished attaching the saline solution to the IV drip. Roxanne approached him with the book and showed him the last entry.

"Three guesses who 'subject B' is, and the first two don't count," she said as his jaw dropped.

"But… Sir! Unconscious… how? _Pregnancies?!_ Eight?!" He stuttered trying to wrap his brain around what was happening.

"I'm sure Mrs. Cube can tell us all the details, but it looks like her and her cohorts have been replacing legitimate sperm samples with Megamind's. So when women come for a… 'treatment'… they get his instead of who they thought they were getting."

"But…but…That's _beyond_ evil! That's destroying those families' dreams!" Minion was visibly upset and honestly, so was she.

Roxanne took a deep breath and decided she would freak out for her unlikely friends later. And then get drunk. Yes, drinks would be wonderful, but later…

"Ok, first things first," she said out-loud. It usually helped her think. "We need to keep those samples from spreading to unsuspecting women. We can destroy the lab… How long is sperm good for when not in cold storage? Do you know, Minion?" He shook his head. "Then shutting off the power won't work. They could still be salvaged…" she trailed off. "Destruction it is then. And we'll need the files of the affected women… Can you stay here and do that, Minion?" She offered. She figured he wouldn't want to be parted from Megamind's side.

"Yes, Ma'am. I can stay here," he said in a sad tone of voice. "This is just terrible, Ma'am. And I know he's not going to handle it well at all. This can ruin his reputation! Who's going to believe what really happened?!"

"We'll figure it out, Minion. I promise. Now, apparently, I need to go wreck up the joint. Let me know if he starts to come around." Roxanne placed a friendly hand on Minion's dome, and then one on Megamind's shoulder before heading back upstairs.

* * *

The first thing he was aware of was voices. Familiar voices. Then his brain realized he was waking up and kicked in. He identified Minion's voice along with Roxanne's. What was she doing here? Didn't they have a fight? They sounded upset about something. He was laying on a hard metallic surface and his body ached from being inactive. He was also particularly sore in his nethers for a thoroughly unknown reason. He was wearing unfamiliar clothes, not his leathers or the prison jumpsuit. He was indoors, but not at Evil Lair or the prison. The smell of disinfectant made him suspect that he was in the hospital or a lab somewhere. His throat was incredibly dry and the pinching on his arm made him realize he was attached to an IV.

The escape. Did they manage to finally catch him? This doesn't feel like the prison infirmary though.

The voices around him got clearer as he rose up from unconsciousness and he heard his best friend exclaim, "Who's going to believe what really happened?!"

Roxanne's voice answers, "We'll figure it out, Minion. I promise. Now, apparently, I need to go wreck up the joint. Let me know if he starts to come around." A moment later, he feels a leather-clad hand rest on his shoulder before leaving.

He tried swallowing to moisten his throat enough to talk and it was harder than it was supposed to be. Next he tried to pry open his heavy eyelids. While he was struggling, he could hear Minion typing and muttering under his breath. He also heard a loud crash come from a different part of the building.

He finally got an eyelid cracked and located Minion. Then he attempted to talk. "Did…" he rasped out. Dear evil heaven, he sounded really rough. Minion was looking at him in shock though, so he continued, "Did I hear… Ritchi say… 'wreck up the joint'?" He gave his friend a tired smirk, "I know…not dreaming… hurts too much…"

"Oh, Sir! I was so worried! Let me get you some water! I wasn't expecting you to wake so soon, Sir." Minion bustled around the room accompanied by distant crashes, then approached Megamind with a glass of water. "Here, let me help you up, Sir." Minion gently propped up Megamind and helped him with the water.

Once he was done sipping the water, he managed to murmur out, "How long?"

Minion understood and answered, "Almost a month, Sir. We only just found you."

"Where?" he continued.

Minion looked down and wouldn't meet his eyes. Not good. He saw Minion's gills flutter, his version of taking a deep breath, and replied, "A…um…a fertility clinic."

"Genetics," he guessed out loud.

Before he could ponder further, Minion said, "Well, _applied_ genetics, Sir." He frowned as he thought about that. What could applied genetics mean? Were they attempting gene splicing? They wouldn't have the necessary equipment here… Minion saw his frown and started panicking again, "But don't you worry, Sir! Miss Ritchi is here and now that you're awake we can figure something out." Minion laid him gently back down and went back to the computer.

He was quiet as he tried to figure out what Minion wasn't saying. It was right there but the connection refused to be made. While putting his impressive intellect to work, and saving his voice, he heard multiple crashes from a different part of the building and even a wicked laugh or two.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Miss Ritchi?"

"Oh yes! Ma'am has been incredibly helpful in locating you, Sir. It would have taken me much longer on my own."

Megamind's eyes widened and the other eyebrow lifted in surprise, "Ma'am?"

"Oh, she called us her family when I went to her for help. And I just couldn't help myself, Sir. You know how I get," Minion gave him a half smile before turning back to the computer.

Megamind gave him a fond smile, "You sentiment-i-al simian."

"Always, Sir," Minion replied.

Megamind decided to stay quiet to let Minion finish up what he was doing. They were obviously in the middle of a rescue operation and the faster they could get back to the lair the better. Maybe then he would get the whole story. And what in the nine-hells was Roxanne doing up there?

Wait.

What in the nine-hells is she doing here? Why had she helped Minion, anyway? They were her kidnappers after all. But she called them family. But at the last kidnapping, she had made fun of him. Just like everyone else. He had been kidnapping her for years and he thought she was better than that. On the other hand, she didn't mock his appearance, merely his scare tactics.

That…that wasn't as bad, right? He'd just have to be unpredictable next time. But the edge of that knife was still sharp and it had cut him to the quick.

He took his mind off of that confusing woman and looked up at the bag on the IV. Ahh, only a saline drip. That can be removed. He reached up and cut the flow, then pulled the needle from his arm with his breath hissing between his teeth. Once that was done he decided to try sitting up.

He managed it and after a couple minutes the room even stopped spinning. He sighed then. There was no way he could make it to the other side of the room right now.

"Minion? I need your assist-ah-nce. I need to use the facilities but I'm afraid I'm not fully ambulatory at the moment. Help me walk?"

"Of course, Sir! I'm finished here anyway," Minion replied as he came to help Megamind down.

His legs felt like jelly. His captives obviously didn't exercise his muscles while he was being held. It would take forever to get back in shape! Like a whole week! He might just leave his cubed captor captive while he recovered. Take that! At least, he was assuming that his captor was dehydrated.

"Oh, this is em-bah-rrassing!" he rasped out in frustration when they were only half-way to the restroom, forgetting to save his voice.

"It'll be ok, Sir. We'll get you recovered in no time," Minion said supportingly.

"I guess," he sulked a bit. They had made it to the door and Megamind went in. He was grateful that this particular bathroom had bars installed on the walls. At least that was _one_ embarrassment saved. He shut the door and tended to his business. As he grabbed himself, he let out a started yelp at the odd pain. He looked down and instead of his normal blue coloring, he saw an angry purple.

Pieces started to reluctantly click together in his mind. Fertility clinic. Applied genetics. Minion's embarrassment. Figure something out…

He quickly finished up then threw open the door and looked into Minion's startled face. He could tell that his eyes were wide and probably getting a little wild.

"Min-yon! What _exactly_ do we need to 'figure out'?!'

* * *

*CRASH*

Roxanne smiled. She had just thrown the last tray of vials she had found across the room. She put her hands on her leather-clad hips and surveyed the room. It was a mess. All the doors were open on the lab refrigerators and she had made sure to unplug them also. Every vial she found was thrown against something.

She decided to go trade places with Minion so he can check that she didn't miss anything. It was always good to get a second pair of eyes on a project after all. She made her way to the stairs, making sure to step heavily on any glass she crossed. There was satisfying crunching sounds as she brought down her borrowed heavy boots. In the back of her head, she was slightly worried about getting caught during her one and only act of public vandalism. At least it was memorable…

She headed down the stairs and called out when she saw the doorway, "Hey, Minion, I think I found and destroyed all the samples. Would you make a round and double check though?" She entered the room and was surprised that Megamind wasn't on the table.

As she started to look around, she heard a voice croak, "Samples?!"

She turned her head and saw Megamind leaning heavily on a doorway and Minion looking flustered standing nearby. She couldn't help the wide smile that the sight of him caused.

"Megamind!" she exclaimed as she hurried over to him. "Are you alright?" She stopped just short of hugging him, not really knowing how he would react to that kind of display of affection. She could tell that he had been in the middle of a freak-out, but then he seemed to finally notice her and blinked with a surprised look on his face.

"Miss Ritchi, I do approve of the new attire," he rasped as he gave her a once over. She couldn't help but blush at the scrutiny. She was expecting him to comment on her big boots, leather pants, corset and gloves, and the high-collared, spiked cape, but she wasn't expecting the nervous shyness that accompanied it.

"All the better to rescue you with," she bantered. Bantering was safe. "Shouldn't you be sitting down? And your voice sounds terrible, you know."

"Yes, yes," he replied with a wave of his hand. "And you try going for, a month was it? A month without talking or drinking and see how your voice sounds." He was still leaning heavily against the door way.

"Point taken," she replied and grabbed his hand to help him to a nearby chair. He gasped when she grabbed him, but she ignored it. She dragged him away from the door and when he stumbled, she wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. When she got him to the chair a moment later, she saw that he was blushing slightly and had his head turned away.

She smirked slightly and turned to Minion, "Hey Minion, could you check and make sure I found everything? Oh, and did you get the files?"

"Yes, Ma'am! I have all the relevant files and installed a backdoor in case we need to get back in the system remotely. I'll go up and check things over for you," he nearly babbled as he backed towards the door. Then he turned and nearly ran up the stairs.

"Miss Ritchi," Megamind's voice called her. "Will you _please_ explain why I was found here of all places."

Roxanne shot a glare at the doorway Minion just escaped through and muttered, "Coward," under her breath. Then she sighed and replied, "Stay here."

She came back a moment later with a glass of water and the notebook she had found earlier. She gave them both to Megamind and said, "Here. A little light reading for ya."

He looked at her skeptically but opened the book after drinking the water. He idly flipped the pages with a disgusted expression on his face. If it wasn't for that expression, she would have thought he was just browsing instead of reading.

"WHAT?!" He exclaimed as he jumped up in fury and his face going pale after reading the last entry. He then collapsed back in his chair with a hand on his head. Roxanne crossed over to him and knelt down and put one arm across his shoulders then pulled him over slightly to lean on her in a side-ways hug. At first he tensed up, but then relaxed as he accepted the comfort.

"What in the name of science am I going to _do_ about this, Roxanne?" he asked in a whisper. Roxanne was surprised that he used her first name, but rolled with it.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. You're supposed to be some kind of genius, right?" she teased lightly.

He chuckled and replied, "Believe it or not, Miss Ritchi, _this_ particular scenario never crossed my incredible mind."

"And so modest!" she smirked.

"It's not bragging when it's fact, Miss Ritchi."

Minion came back then, "Ok, Sir. Ma'am. Looks like everything is taken care of. Let's get out of here."


	6. Family Planning

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic. I also do not have any rights to the movie Scream.

Ch 6 – Family Planning

The car came to a stop and Roxanne removed the blindfold. They had just made it back to Evil Lair after swinging through a drive-thru for the hungry supervillain. The look on the teenager's face when Minion drove up to the window was priceless. They brought Megamind up to speed during the drive.

They exited the currently visible invisible car and Megamind stumbled a bit. He shot a glance at Roxanne, blushed slightly, then straightened up and walked confidently, but a little slowly to the couch in the living area. Minion stayed close by his side in case he needed anything. Roxanne decided not to say anything in order to spare his feelings; he _had_ just been through a traumatic experience after all.

Roxanne found a chair nearby and sat herself down. She had to admit, with the form-fitting leather and the cape swirling behind her she felt pretty sexy. Well after she got over being self-conscious about the outfit on her generous hips anyway.

Megamind looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. She just smirked in reply. He gave her a small smile in return then shook his head slightly. She smiled a little wider when he broke eye contact and asked Minion for some coffee.

She blinked in surprise as she realized that they just had a non-verbal conversation. Maybe they really were closer friends than she had suspected. She was definitely going to institute pizza and movie night.

Megamind looked at her again and said, "Miss Ritchi, I thank you for your assist-ah-nce in this unfortunate matter. Whatever Minion promised you to get your cooperat-shion, consider it doubled. I'll have Minion take you home when he gets back."

"I don't think so, genius," she said with a light tone and a smile. "I'm staying. This still counts as that 'family emergency,' I took off work for. And we never agreed on the terms. I _do_ have something in mind though."

"You really don't need to involve yourself in my problems, Miss Ritchi. What 'terms' do you have in mind?" he asked.

"Can we save the 'Miss Ritchi' crap for the kidnapping chair and cameras? Just Roxanne. Please. Now my terms for your rescue: Movie night. The three of us. Twice a month. Oh, and the ability to request kidnappings," she told him.

He just stared at her for a long while, then shook his head with a chuckle. "There are so many things wrong with that statement, I'm not entirely sure where to start." Minion arrived with the coffee and gave both Megamind and Roxanne a cup.

Roxanne smiled in thanks and looked back at Megamind, "Well, I'll try to explain. 'Miss Ritchi' is a business name and none of my other friends call me that. And I realized that we _are_ friends, in a dysfunctional sort of way. Once I realized that, I thought it would be nice to get together _as friends_ and watch a movie and eat pizza like normal people do. And for the kidnapping request, well sometimes I get stuck in a situation where watching _grass grow_ is more exciting. I thought you could help me out with those particular days."

Megamind was stroking his chin thoughtfully, "And these movie nights would happen in _addition_ to regular kidnappings and my diabolical schemes?"

She smiled, "Yup! I can't ask a leopard to change his spots, after all. But maybe draw in a couple new spots with indelible ink…"

He laughed suddenly, and it wasn't his practiced evil laugh, but genuine laughter. She had never heard that before. "Oh, Roxanne! You are something else!"

She smirked, "Well, I wouldn't think you would nab just any Jane Doe with a microphone."

He sobered at that, "No, you're right. I wouldn't. What would your boyfriend think of us hanging out socially?"

She motioned him a little closer and leaned closer to him. He looked suspiciously at her but leaned down too. She stage-whispered, "I don't have a boyfriend."

He sat up straight and stuttered, "B..but, I thought…"

She sat up and shrugged, "I know. Everyone did. Helped my career with exclusives and got the fan-girls off his back. Win-win." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and looked down. She didn't want to admit out-loud that it also brought the two of them together.

"Well, well," he muttered with a thoughtful look.

"So, we gonna do this planning thing? Or go to bed and hit it in the morning?" Roxanne asked to get his mind back on track.

"Hmm? Oh, well you and Minion can turn in if you'd like. I've had enough sleep to last me awhile, I believe."

"Nah, I'm good. So, time to address the elephant in the room. Three confirmed pregnancies and five more possible. What happens now?"

Megamind had dropped his massive head in his hands when she brought up the numbers and muttered, "I still can't believe this…" Minion placed a hand on his shoulder and Megamind drew in a shuttering breath. "Ok, so we know those women have no idea they are carrying my…children… Dear evil gods… children! We can also assum-eh that they would be, at best, reluctant to keep them. Who would want a blue child after all?" he said bitterly. "Minion, that means we'll have to take them." Minion nodded grimly.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait," Roxanne interrupted. "You can't just _take_ them. That's kidnapping!" She saw an eyebrow start to rise in her direction, "It's not the same, and you _know_ _it_! Can't you, like, work out a deal or something? I mean, they obviously wanted a baby, or they wouldn't have been there."

"Yes. 'A' baby, not 'my' baby. Trust me; there is a world of difference. What deal would you suggest, Mi…err, Roxanne?"

"Well, definitely give them a choice to keep it or hand it over to you. Maybe pay them to be the surrogate? That would give them an incentive to take care of themselves and not terminate the pregnancy."

"Terminate?!" Minion gasped, appalled. "Surely not!"

"No, we can't have that," Megamind muttered. "I'll have to play up the villain aspect and get them too scared to consider that as an option. How much do these shur-ro-gates typically get paid?"

"I don't know. Maybe thirty grand? I know its way up there."

Megamind nodded thoughtfully, "Minion, take this down. 100 grand for each child. Ten a month and ten for the birth. Option to keep it or give it to me. If they keep the child, it will not be abused physically or psychologically or I _will_ take them. No abortions or funds will be repossessed with interest. If caught attempting to get an abortion, I will hold them captive until the baby is born. Must stay in Metrocity. Have my personal protection." He glanced over at Minion's notes then back at Roxanne, "Sound fair, Roxanne?"

"You...you can't hold them captive! That's barbaric!" she replied, totally appalled.

He winced a little and replied, "I'm... No, I wouldn't really do that. Just an empty threat?"

"I still think you could tone it down a little, but you are generous with the payment. And _how_ do you have that much money to throw around?"

He blinked at her, then exaggeratedly looked around the lair at all his evil inventions and research areas. "I didn't exactly find _all_ of this in the junk he-ape, you know," he drawled out teasingly. "I do have some patents on some technology that I've sold over the years."

"Oh… I guess that makes sense. I never thought about it before," she blushed and shrugged.

"Minion, could you get that drawn up in some kind of contract?" Megamind asked.

"You bet, boss!" he said enthusiastically and headed off to type it up.

Once they were alone, Roxanne asked a question she had been wondering about, "So, Megamind? Will you keep up the supervillainy when you have that brood underfoot?"

Megamind dropped his head down into his hands again and replied softly, "I don't know, Roxanne. It's the only thing I've ever done, you know? Try to destroy Metro Mahn, be taken to prison, escape and repeat. I've never seriously entertained the thought of a family. I mean, why bother, right? I'm just the blue, big-headed freak that can't play nice with others."

Roxanne moved from her chair to the couch next to Megamind, raised him up, then hugged him. All these glimpses of the self-loathing that the normally confident-seeming man beside her was showing was tearing her up inside. He tensed up and sat ram-rod straight.

"Miss Ritchi, I must insist-" he started, but she interrupted him.

"Shut up, Spaceman. I'm giving you a hug and that's all there is to it," she insisted. He sat still for a moment then she felt him place his hands hesitantly on her back and return the hug. She eventually pulled back and gave him a little smile. "You've got friends, you know? Don't sell yourself short, ok? Where's that confident supervillain I know and love?"

His brow furrowed as he repeated her, "Know and…LOVE?!" He exclaimed as his eyes widened. He gripped her shoulders and looked at her with a wide-eyed expression, "You LOVE me?!" Her own eyes widened, but before she could say anything, he had sprung up off the couch and ran to the back shouting, "MINION! MINION! SHE LOVES ME!"

"Friend love! FRIEND LOVE!" she shouted back, but she knew he didn't hear. Crap, crap, and double crap! It was just an expression! At least he's feeling better. He didn't stumble once while jumping around with that manic energy of his. What was she going to do now? He would be back soon asking her to be his evil queen again, and would expect a 'yes' for an answer.

"ROXANNE, MY LOVE!" she heard him call as he came running back. She could hear Minion running with him. Ooh, boy...

Megamind ran up in front of her and started to kneel. She quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back up, "Whoa there, Romeo. Dates first, ok?"

"Yes! Yes of course!" he exclaimed, still excited. Then he picked her up and twirled her around while laughing, her borrowed cape fluttering behind her.

When he put her down, he was still smiling widely. She gave him a smile back, then involuntarily yawned.

"Whew, I think the day is catching up with me. Can I get a ride home?" she asked. She definitely needed space right now.

"Of course, Roxanne, my dear. Minion, could you see to it? I have ideas I need to get on paper," Megamind said exuberantly.

"Yes, Sir. And those contracts have been drawn up if you want to look them over."

"Excellent work, you fantastic fish, you! Ciao, you two!"

Roxanne and Minion got in the invisible car and she tied her blindfold around her eyes. They started moving and sat in an uncomfortable silence.

Finally Minion broke the silence, "Miss Ritchi-"

"I know!" she moaned. "He was being all melancholy then I asked 'where is that supervillain that I know and love,' and he ran with it. And I couldn't just take it back! He was acting all hurt and self-loathing and stuff. He's never had it very good, huh?"

"No, Miss Ritchi. He hasn't," Minion said curtly. "And I would appreciate it if you don't play with his heart."

"Of course," she replied quietly. Still speaking softly she asked, "What did he mean by 'who would want a blue child'? Nobody took you guys in when you were little?"

"Of course not, Ma'am. Who _would_ want a blue child and their 'pet' fish when there are other, _normal_ children to pick from. Not that we even had a chance. They wouldn't even accept us into the foster system. Social workers saw us, then turned around and left. We grew up right where we landed. In Metro City's Prison for the Criminally Gifted," Minion told her matter of factly.

Roxanne had her hand over her mouth in shock then gasped out, "That's _terrible_!"

"Oh, it wasn't so bad Ma'am. We had food and shelter and they always brought Sir a different book to read. And looks like we're here," Minion said as they parked outside her apartment.

"Thanks, Minion. Hey, do you have a number I where I can contact you guys?"

"Sure," he said. He reached into a compartment on his body and pulled out a card then handed it to her. "There ya go. Good night, Ma'am."

She smiled as she exited the car and replied, "You too."

* * *

Roxanne was hurrying home from work. They had held her late to ask about her coverage of the Metro Man Museum opening taking place in a couple weeks. She ought to ask Megamind to kidnap her that day just to spite them. If he wasn't planning on doing it already…

But that late meeting was making her late for movie night. It had been two months since they had rescued Megamind, and life was more interesting than ever. They had started dating, and they had movie night every other week unless Megamind was in prison, then they postponed. That was in addition to her normal kidnappings. And she was always called in to consult when the 'baby situation' came up.

Three of the 'pending pregnancies' didn't conceive, so that brought the total of mothers up to five. And two of those were carrying twins. Seven babies and Megamind was convinced that he would end up with all of them despite the deals he had offered the mothers. Granted three of the ladies told him that they would give him the babies, no problem. The other two felt like they were getting old and just wanted a baby. They both said that they just picked a father at random, so it was all the same to them. Roxanne had a side-bet with Minion about how many he would end up with. She thought it would only be five, but Minion could be just as pessimistic as Megamind and put his money on seven.

Megamind was also cloning Minion, with the fish's approval of course, so that his kids would also have a constant companion. Roxanne figured it had to do something with their species. He was really frantic about it until they worked out all the details and determined that the Minion-clones would hatch before his kids were born. She had asked both Minion and Megamind about it, but they didn't know enough about their home-planet to be helpful. They just knew what 'felt right.'

She finally made it to her apartment door and heard her two guests inside already. She opened the door and let herself in.

"Hey guys! What's the movie tonight? Sorry I was running late, my boss caught me at the last minute. What would you like to order?"

"Well my dear Roxanne," she looked down and blushed when Megamind called her that. It used to annoy her, but now she just thought it was sweet. "For your viewing pleasure, I have procured the classic 90's horror movie, Scream!"

"Ooh, fun! Pizza it is then! I'll get it extra saucy too. Anchovies on yours, Minion?"

"You know me too well, Ma'am," Minion grinned at her.

"Well those teeth weren't made to filter algae, right?" she asked with a half-smile. She called and ordered their pizzas while Megamind inserted the DVD. Once done, she dimmed the lights and plopped on the couch next to Megamind and pulled his arm across her shoulders. She learned awhile back that if he put his arm around her, she didn't get poked by spikes when they cuddled.

When she got comfortable and the movie was started, Megamind leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Think of this as an educational video, my dear Miss Ritchi. Maybe you could learn to scream one day."

She smiled back and whispered, "Well, we'll see my dear."

He gave her a startled smile, then hugged her a little closer as the phone rang on the TV screen.


	7. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind, Roxanne, or Minion. The rest are mine.

**AN:** This here wraps up my little story. I apologize if anyone missed that this was an AU. I just couldn't see the event of the movie happening after what happened in this story. I'm just assuming that in the movie-verse Megamind either never got abducted, or was found _much_ sooner. I know that there is a lot more story potential here, and I will probably visit again in other stories or one-shots. Thanks for joining me for the ride!

Epilogue

Megamind's bright green eyes shot open from a dead sleep. They were about to be at it again. He quietly disentangled himself from the arms of his future not-quite-so-evil queen and gave her a kiss on the forehead when she frowned in her sleep at his absence. He was reluctant to leave, but he knew that DeShawna would start crying if she didn't get fed soon. And that would just wake up the other six.

He quietly raced to the nursery and ran through his mental connection with his children. He was more surprised than anyone when _that_ happened at the eighth month of gestation. It nearly drove him to distraction with the mothers all in different parts of Metrocity. The two mothers who wanted to keep the children he had to convince to let him share custody, and that was a tough battle. He even had to give them full (yet supervised) Evil Lair access! They were still working out schedules, and he currently had both Martin and Emilio for the next couple days.

They would all wake soon. Might as well heat up all the bottles. He ran inside and hit the buttons on the multi-bottle warmer he invented. It would mix the formula, dispense it into bottles, keep them cold, then warm up a select amount when he was ready. Once the warming-up cycle was starting, he carefully lifted DeShawna from her section of the crib without nudging Pike's water sphere. He cuddled her slightly before touching foreheads with her. He actually hadn't realized that was strange until Roxanne asked him about it. It just felt right.

He looked over his children and was once again surprised by how strong his genetics were. He had known for some time that he was compatible with humans, but it looked like his genes were slightly stronger. For one, all his children were blue-skinned and their heads were growing just like his did at that age. That's not to say that they didn't inherit any traits from their mothers, because they had. DeShawna and Denzell both had their mother's brown eyes and a slightly flattened nose. Jia-Li had her mother's almond-shaped eyes. Martin had his mother's facial structure. Emilio also had brown eyes and what Megamind was suspecting was a Latin temper. Faith and Hope had their mother's grey eyes and her slightly upturned nose.

The indicator light came on to let him know the bottle was warm. He gave it to DeShawna with a soft smile on his face and sat in the rocking chair. He hummed a soft tune that he barely remembered his mother singing to him while he fed his youngest.

He heard a noise in the doorway and looked over. Roxanne was standing there in a robe with sleep-tousled hair. She smiled sleepily at him, "Fatherhood looks good on you," she whispered. "Who's next?" she asked.

Megamind gave her a smile in return, "Denzell of course. These two can't do anything without the other."

Roxanne grabbed a warmed bottle and lifted Denzell from the crib, "Well of course. That's the way it is with twins, you know."

"Yes, that _is_ what the books say. You know, motherhood doesn't look too bad on you either, my dear Roxanne."

"Down boy," she smiled at him fondly while giving Denzell his bottle. "I _just_ let you put a ring on my finger. Everything else will happen as it happens. And I have a feeling you'd want to get these guys out of diapers first. We still on for that kidnapping tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but Way-een says it'll have to be the last evil scheme for a couple months. He wants to take a vaca-shion for some reason. Something about burn-out," he shrugged as he threw a towel over his shoulder and burped DeShawna.

"Will he be bringing you to prison, or did you finally convince him to drop you back off here?"

He chuckled as he lay DeShawna back down in the crib. "Don't worry, Pike. I brought her back safe and sound," he spoke softly to DeShawna's Minion-clone. He then picked up Martin and got a fresh bottle. "Honestly, I think it depends on how bad I get under his skin," he continued the conversation. "But Minion and I have a plan in place. I won't be in there for more than a few hours. And I won't deviate, promise."

"Why don't you two hang up the capes? You barely have the time anymore with these rugrats, and they're not even crawling yet. And he's been getting burnt out more and more often lately," she burped Denzell and touched her forehead to his before putting him back in the crib to sleep. "Next?" she asked.

"Jia-Li," he replied. "Oh, be careful. Kokopu likes to snuggle awfully close to her."

"Ok." Roxanne gently lifted Jia-Li and gave her a bottle.

"I've been thinking about it more often recently. You're right of course, my dear. My time _is_ at a premium and Metro Mahn has been just calling it in more often than not. I'll talk it over with him when he's back from his vaca-shion."

"Thank you, Megamind," she replied in that soft voice she uses sometimes.

"Anything for you, my love."

~fin~

**2nd AN: **And yes, I have names for all the mini-Minions, I just couldn't fit them all naturally into this short chapter.


End file.
